Liquid's Second Punishment: Scenario B
by Liquid
Summary: In the midst of the T Virus outbreak, Leon managed to escape with the help of Ada Wong. But there was another survivor: A young man named Liquid....
1. All Roads Lead To Raccoon City

Liquid leaned against the wall as he unlocked the door to his house. The door then promptly fell in, and he stumbled over to the couch. 

"Sweet relief". He said as he fell onto it.

As he kicked off his shoes, he felt a mixture of pain from what he had just survived, and victory of knowing that there was nothing left for Xing to throw at him. Every single resident evil game and movie that was worth mentioning, Liquid had survived, and now he could rest easy in his ghetto house for the first time in months.

Suddenly his cupboard door was kicked open, and his eyes widened as a small penguin jumped out.

"Aw, come on, man". Liquid said as it walked toward him. "I just got home".

The penguin said nothing as it walked over to the couch, and picked up Liquid's left shoe.

"Hey"! Liquid yelled as the penguin carried it toward the cupboard. "Hey, I need that"! "God damn it, mother fucker, I want my fucking shoe back"!

It vanished into the cupboard, and Liquid knew that his shoe was lost. The only one that the penguin didn't seem interested in was his old motorcycle boots, so he put them on just in case.

"Stupid penguin". Liquid said as he grabbed the remote for his tv.

"LIQUID"! Xing's face screamed once the tv was on, scairing him half to death.

"Oh, no". Liquid said as he turned off the tv. "Not this time, Xing".

He grabbed his leather jacket and his keys, fully intent on running for his life. He couldn't take another punishment, not after the shit he had just done to get the sample to Wesker.

"Coming to get you, Liquid". Xing's vioce said from the tv. "Better run while you can".

"Fine by me". Liquid said as he snapped his fingers, making the tv explode.

He would be ok as long as he could keep his powers. He couldn't beat Xing in a fight, but he would settle for staying away from Xing's power stealing bule portal.

It was time to use his bigggest kept secret.

He ran into the basement, and used his key to open a hidden room, revealing the Stargate that Liquid was saving for just this occasion.

"Oh, Liquid"? Xing called from upstairs. "Where are you, Liquid"?

Quickly dialing his escape address, the gate opened and he dived through. But what he didn't see was the blue portal opening just inside the gate, taking his powers once again as he arrived at his secret destination:

A parking garage about 50 feet from his house.

"I see you, Liquid". Xing called. "HAHAHAHAHAHA"!!!!!

Liquid jumped onto his motorcycle, and fired it up as Xing entered the garage. Then he gave him the finger as he took off down the street.

"You can run, Liquid". Xing said as Liquid vanished into the distance. "But you know as well as I do that all roads lead to Raccoon City".

In the midst of the T-Virus outbreak, and the pandimonium that engulfed the city. Leon S. Kennedy managed to escape the horrors with the help of Ada Wong.

"Don't let go, Ada"! Leon screamed.

"I'll never let go, Leon". She replied. "We're going to make it".

"Yes, we are". "And when we escape, we can run away togather, and spend the rest of our lives with eachother".

"Well, since you put it that way".

She let go, and fell into the abyss.

"Adaaaaaaaaaaaaa"! Leon screamed as he fell to his knees. "I only knew her for 15 minutes, and she tried to kill me three times, but it was true love"! "OH, GOD WHY"?!

There was also another survivor who managed to escape the horrors. A young man named Liquid, who had been seeking a way to escape his fate...

Powerless, Liquid had to rely on his bike if he was to escape Xing. But this was ok, because his stereo system was the best that money could buy.

"Come on Barbie, let's go party"! He sang with the radio. "Ah, ah, ah, yeah"! "Come on Barbie, let's go party"! "Ooo, woa, ooo, woa"!

His bike screamed along the highway, and if he had been paying attention, he would have seen the sign that said:

Raccoon City 15 Miles.

"You can brush my hair"! He continued. "Undress me anywhere"! "With your imagination, life is your creation"! "I'm a Barbie Girl, in a Barbie world"! "It's fantastic, life in plastic"!

The radio suddenly crackled, and the song stopped.

"We interupt this bulliton to bring you a special announcement". The newscaster said. "All citizens are advised to avoid going anywhere Racc...

Never one to enjoy the news, Liquid turned it off, and entered what appeared to be a regular town. His stomach was growling, so he was looking for a place to get some food, and didn't see the open manhole cover.

His front tire fell into it, catipulting him 50 feet foreward, and he slid down the road another 150 feet before stopping in front of the Red Hot Chillie Bar. And as soon as he stopped crying, and his wounds had healed enough, he walked in.

There was no one inside. This was strange because the lights were on, and the door was unlocked. Normaly he would have investigated, but there was a fresh pot of chillie on the stove in the kitchen, so he hoped over the counter, grabbed a spoon, and began eating the steaming hot chillie like a starving madman.

This went well until a human skull floated to the top, making Liquid spit out the chillie, and back up into the wall.

"HOLY SHIT"! He screamed. "That's some secret ingredient".

He should have left, and reported this to the cops, but the chillie was really good, and what the hell, it's not like he can become more of a cannible since he had already eaten it.

He was about to get some more, when the office door opened, and 3 zombies came out, making Liquid scream, and run back into the front. Zombies were knocking on the glass outside, and another zombie just came out of the bathroom. This could have been a mere coincidence, but then Liquid saw the floormat.

It said: RACCOON CITY'S FINEST BOUL OF CHILLE.

"NOOOOOOOOOOO"! Liquid screamed. "NOT AGAIN"!


	2. The New Sherrif In Town

The zombies were slowly advancing, so Liquid grabbed a steak knife, and tossed it into the zombie's shoulder, making it groan.

He grabbed another knife, and then another, and another, sinking them into the zombie's arm, leg, and chest.

"Jesus Christ"! The zombie yelled as Liquid grabbed another knife. "What the fuck are you aiming at"?

"Uh". Liquid replied. "Your head"?

"Not by the looks of things". "How about you aim for any place but my head, and see what happens"?

Not wasting anymore time, Liquid tossed the knife at the zombie's foot, and it sunk into his head, killing him.

"Cool". He said as he moved toward the door. "Thanks alot".

More zombies were coming in, so Liquid ran to the back door, and kicked it open, coming face to face with the barrel of Leon's handgun.

"A ZOMBIE"! Leon screamed.

Liquid dropped to the floor just before Leon started firing shots into the bar without even aiming. The cop continued screaming as he emptied his clip, killing the blender, a glass vase, and two windows.

None of the zombies were dead, and they were almost to the door, when Liquid kicked it shut. He looked up to see Leon standing over him with the gun ready.

"Now you have to ask yourself one question". Leon said as he pulled the hammer back. "Did that strong and handsome cop fire 5 shots, or 372 shots"?

"What the fuck"? Liquid asked.

"Well, punk"? Leon continued. "Do you feel lucky"?

"Not really, with the way my day's been going".

Leon grabbed him by the hair, and pressed the gun against his head as he made Liquid stand up.

"Up against the wall". Leon ordered as he pushed him. "You're under arrest for being black on a tuesday".

"I'm white, you retard". Liquid replied as Leon searched him. "And today is monday".

"Quiet, prisoner". "You have the right to remain silent, SO SHUT THE FUCK UP"! "Anything you say can be used against you in our bullshit legal system". "You have the right to an attorney, but that will do you no good because you will be tried by a group of easily bribed jurors that are already pissed at you because thay have to be on the jury". "Do you understand all of these rights"?

"Sure". "Well, except for the last one, and all the ones before it". "But I have a question for you, Leon".

"What is it, prisoner"?

"Did you remember to reload"?

Liquid suddenly spun around, took the handgun, and smacked Leon in the face with it.

"Are you a retard"? Liquid asked as Leon fell to the ground. "We are in the middle of a zombie nightmare, and you try some bullshit like this"? "Man, I tell you, pretty boy, if there were any bullets left in this gun, I would blow you away right here".

Leon tried to football spear him, but Liquid simply brought up his foot, knocking him back down.

"Are you done"? Liquid asked.

"Oh, yeah". Leon replied.

"Good, then let's get into your police car, and try to get out of this fucked up town".

Leon got up, and they got into the nearest police car. The keys were inside, so Leon fired up the engine, and they took off.

"You seem to know me". Leon said. "So who the hell are you"?

"I'm Liquid". He replied. "WATCH THE GOD DAMN ROAD"!

Leon swerved just in time to miss a police van.

"Well, Liquid". Leon continued. "You assulted a police officer, stole police property, resisted arrest, and had a pissy attitude about it". "Quite a record for week".

"It's only monday". Liquid replied. "Just wait till thursday comes around".

Leon said nothing, and tightened his grip on the wheel.

"I'm taking you in, Liquid". He said. "We can either do this easy way, or Leon S. Kennedy's way".

"The only place you are taking me is out of this city". Liquid replied.

"My way it is"!

Leon suddenly cranked the wheel to the side, flipping the car over, and making it crash into a light post. They were now both sitting upside down.

"What the hell is your damage, pretty boy"?! Liquid yelled.

"I stopped a dangerous convict from escaping". Leon proudly stated.

"You just trashed our only way out of the city, you moron"!

He was about to say something else, but then his eyes widened as a semi came charging toward them.

Liquid got out just before it hit, and the semi continued on with no problem.

"Aw, that was nothing". Ray Charles said on the CB radio. "Probibly just a speed bump".

Back at the crash site, Liquid was sorry to see that Leon had also survived.

"Liquid"! Leon called.

"What"? Liquid asked.

"Head for the police station"! "I'll arrest you there"!

"Whatever".

Leon ran off, and Liquid walked through an open metal door.

YOU HAVE ONCE AGAIN STEPPED INTO THE WORLD OF SURVIVAL HORROR, GOOD LUCK...

"What the fuck was that"? Liquid asked as he poked his head back through the door.

He chose to ignore it, and started walking toward the police station. 


	3. Jason And The Key

Running at full speed, Liquid ducked and dodged every zombie he came across, until he ran thru a door, and slammed it shut behind him.

He bolted it shut, and sank to the floor, completely out of breath.

"How do they do it"? He asked himself. "How do these people run so damn much without even breathing hard"?

After a few minutes, Liquid was full of energy again, so he kicked open the enxt door, and was surprised to find himself in the back lot of the police station.

There was also a sound. A sound that filled him with hope, and this hope was comfirmed when he looked up, and sw a helicopter hovering above the helipad.

"Thank God". Liquid said as he ran up the steps.

There was a police officer with a machine gun, trying to get hold of a ladder. It looked like he was going to make it, but then the rear propeller exploded for some reason, and the chopper started down. It was going to hit the cop, so Liquid knew that he had to act fast.

He sprinted as fast as he could, on a bee line path for the cop. Liquid then grabbed the machine gun out of the cop's hands, and dove out of the way just before it crashed.

"That was a close one". Liquid said as he looked at his new gun. "Thought I was gonna lose you there for a second".

He got up, and was headed for the door, when another helicopter was heard. But this one had the umbrella logo on it, so Liquid knew that they would most likely kill him on sight. So he ran into the building, and something big crashed through the roof as the umbrella chopper flew away.

Somehow the roof shattering caused the exit to be blocked, trapping Liquid inside. There were then giant footsteps, and Liquid's blood froze when he saw what it was.

It was Jason Voorhees.

"Oh, my jumpin jesus". Liquid said as Jason slowly walked toward him.

Jason took out his machette, and raised it for the kill. But that's when another piece of the roof caved in, falling right on top of him, and allowing Liquid to escape. Then as soon as Liquid was out the door, Jason tossed the piece of rooftop aside, and started searching.

Meanwhile, Liquid found his way to the main hall, and activated the ladder, allowing him to get down to the first floor. Once down, he ran streight for the front doors. There was no way that he was staying in the same place as Jason. He would let Leon deal with the problem.

He opened the heavy doors, and screamed his rage as he saw the hundreds of zombies banging on the gates.

"GOD DAMN MOTHER FUCKING SHIT EATING KOALA BEAR RAPISTS"! He screamed.

Suddenly a fimiliar looking zombie came up the steps.

"Well, well". Liquid said. "If it isn't the dearly departed Brad "Chickenheart" Vickers".

There was a key hanging on his neck, and Liquid wanted it really bad. So, he aimed his gun, and was surprised when Brad screamed and put his hands up.

"I'm not a zombie"! He squeeled as he pissed himself.

"You're not"? He asked.

"No"! "I'm just walking like this because it worked in Shawn Of The Dead"!

"What are you doing here"?

"I was trying to find Jill, so we can get out of here before he finds us".

"Before who finds you"?

"This big and scary 9 foot tall monster dude". "He's after STARS members, and there's no escape".

Liquid thought for a second.

"If I tell you where to find Jill". He said. "Will you give me that key around your neck"?

"Sure". Brad replied as he tossed it to him. "Where is she"?

Liquid caught the key, and stuck it in his pocket.

"Bar Jack". He said. "I'd hurry if I were you".

"Thanks". Brad replied. You're a pal".

"No problem, Brad". "But there is just one more thing before you go".

"What's that"?

Liquid suddenly kicked him in the nuts, making him fall to his hands and knees.

"That's for being yourself". Liquid said as he went back inside. "Say hi to Nemesis for me, you piece of shit". 


	4. The STARS Office

Feeling sightly better after his encounter with Brad, Liquid headed toward the dark room, where he should be able to use the key.

There were a few zombies, but his machine gun took care of them. Then once inside the dark room, he decided to take a look around. There was some film, half a pack of cigerettes, a few suicide notes, and a large locker. He tossed the suicide notes aside, lit up a cigerette, and took the film to the back.

It was at that exact moment that Liquid noticed two things. The first was that he had no idea how to develope film, and hte second thing was that he had his cigerette backwards.

After a humiliating fit of coughing, he found a piece of paper that told him how to develope film. So, he did what he was told, and out came a number of pics.

1. A picture of Wesker putting Chris's hand in water while he is asleep.  
2. A picture of Chris jerking off to Jill's picture. 3. A picture of the surprised look on Chris's face when he notices the camera. 4. A picture of Wesker reading Playboy Magizine. 5. A picture of Chris freaking out when he sees that Claire on the cover of that magizine. 6. A picture of Wesker holding Chris's head under water in the fish tank.  
7. A picture of Wesker switching Chris's spray deodorant with a can of mace while he is in the shower.  
8. A picture of Wesker pouring superglue all over Chris's chair.

Satisfied that the pictures were worthless, Liquid tossed them away, and walked back to the locker. He turned the key, and opened it to find the greatest weapon ever.

The Spark Shot, and a bunch of batteries for it.

"Now we're cooking with gas". Liquid said as he loaded it.

That was all he needed to do in that room, so he went back into the hall. If he remembered right, he needed to get into the STARS office next, so he went up the stairs, and saw two zombies walking toward him. So he aimed the Spark Shot, and smiled as the electric blast made it's head explode.

"Sweet". He said as he aimed at the other one.

Suddenly Jason crashed through the window, and chopped off the zombie's head.

Being the heroic and danger-seeking man that Liquid was, he ran back to the stairs, and slid down the railing before Jason saw him. The good news is that Jason walked away, but the bad news is that Liquid forgot to jump off at the last minute, and smashed his nuts on the end of the rail.

He fell over sideways, and crawled up the stairs while groaning in pain. But this pain was gone by the time he reached the top (a good 15 minutes or so), and he was able to run to the STARS office.

Inside the office, Liquid immeadiatly started searching for things that he could steal.

He took Jill's lockpick, Barry's half eaten ham sandwich (hey, a man's got to eat, right?), and Wesker's spare pair of night vision shades.

"No wonder he can wear these at night". Liquid said. "I can see everything with these".

Then he found the treasure:

Chris's diary.

Entry 1: My god Jill is cute. I would give my soul for a chance to bang her, if I hadn't already sold it to Capcom in order to become the Poster Boy for Resident Evil. Still, it would be nice to have sex with something other then my hand for a change.

Entry 2: At the Christmas party I succeded in getting Jill drunk enough to have sex with me. Unfourtionatly I only lasted about a minute before screaming my mother's name, and then crying for the next half hour. On the brighter side, Jill passed out, so she probibly won't remember.

Entry 3: She remembered, and of course she told Wesker, who in turn got on the P.A. system, and told the whole station. God I hate that man. I swear to god that I would beat his ass in a second if I wasn't such a pussy.

Entry 4: Wesker crossed the line today. I walked into the office, and he was reading his monthly Playboy. Normally I wouldn't care, but then he turned to the college girls section, and made a point of showing me the center fold. Once again I wouldn't have cared, except for the fact that it was a centerfold of my sister, Claire. Once I finish this entry, I am going to beat the hell out of him.

Entry 5: My attack on Wesker did not go as planned, and now there is now no more water in the fish tank. Barry had to give me mouth to mouth, and then he borrowed Wesker's pliers to get the herring out of my ass. Wesker has now made it his personal mission to make me suffer. I will not go into details, but it is no longer safe for me to sleep or take a shower in the police station anymore. I am also finding it a bit difficult to get out of my chair.

There were no more entrys, so Liquid had just put the book down, when Leon kicked open the door , and struck his hero pose.

"HA HAAAAAAA"! He screamed. "SUPER COP IS HERE"!

"Oh, God". Liquid replied. "Not you again".

"Yes, me again". "And now I must arrest you for your crimes".

"What crimes"?

"IGNORANCE OF THE LAW IS NO EXCUSE"!

He drew his gun, and Liquid broke a vase over his head, knocking him out.

"I fucking hate cops". Liquid said as he left the office. 


	5. Everyone's A Freak Around Here

Liquid walked down the hallway, and stopped when he heard a little girl scream. 

"AHHHHHHH"! She screamed as she ran circles around the zombies. "AHHHHHHHHH"!

Never one to leave a child, Liquid aimed his Spark Shot, and blew the zombies to hell.

"Are you alright"? He asked.

She responded to this by kicking him in the shins.

"Asshole"! Sherry yelled. "I was having fun, and you ruined it"!

"You shouldn't be playing with zombies". He warned. "You could get killed".

Sherry gave him a dirty look, and reached behind her back.

"I'm sorry". She said. "Here, I have a gift for you".

"What is it"? He asked.

"Come closer".

Liquid leaned down toward her, and she rewarded him by spraying mace in his eyes. He screamed like a woman and fell on his back. Then Sherry kicked him again, and ran down the hall.

"LITTLE BITCH"! Liquid screamed as he fired his Spark Shot.

The blast hit the wall only a few feet from Sherry, making her run even faster. Liquid then wiped the mace from his bloodshot eyes, and ran after her. He continued firing at her, getting closer each time, until she crawled through a small hole in a door.

"Hmmm". Liquid said as he examined it. "This door appears to be nailed shut from the other side, and there is no way for me to get in".

He spun around, and round house kicked the door down. Then he screamed his rage as he tried to follow Sherry, but he lost her somewhere.

"God damn it". He said to himself. "Where the fuck did she go"?

He was about to start searching elsewhere, when he heard a man's voice coming from a nearby office.

"And now, my pretty". The man's voice said. "You and I are going to have a little fun".

Liquid kicked open the door, and saw Chief Iorns standing over the mayor's dead daughter.

"What the fuck"? Liquid asked.

"Uh". Iorns replied. "You are probibly wondering why there is a dead girl on my desk". "Do you mean to accuse of murdering the mayor's daughter, hunting down survivors, taking bribes from umbrella, and helping out with a conspiracy that has already killed thousends"?

"Actually, I'm a bit more curious as to why your pants are down".

Iorns quickly pulled up his pants, and let out a yelp as he caught himself in his zipper.

"What the hell is going on here"? Liquid asked. "And please, tell me that you were not about to have sex with a dead girl".

"Well". Iorns said. "If it makes you feel better, try to imagine her as a very realistic blow up doll". "Just a bit heavier, and sometimes a bit cold". "But a few minutes with a hair dryer will fix it right up".

"Ewwwwwww, you sick and demented freak"!

"The mayor left her in my care when the outbreak occured". "And she promised that we could have sex every three days that I protected her". "But then she died, and it became every two days".

Liquid had to hold his mouth to keep from throwing up.

"Please". Iorns said. "I'd like to be alone for awhile".

"Yeah, I bet you would, sicko". He replied.

Liquid wasted no time getting out of that room ,leaving through a back door. Then after walking down a few more hallways, and getting the crap scared out of him by a stuffed tiger, he found himself in a very dark room.

He could hear someone breathing toward the back of the room, so he turned on the light, and Sherry hit him in the stomach with a baseball bat.

She continued bashing him with the bat until he was all the way down on the floor, and then she ran back toward the Chief's office.

"Kill...you". Liquid said as he slowly got to his feet.

He followed her back to the office, and noticed that a secret panal was open behind the desk. There was a ladder going down, and when he looked down, Sherry came up from behind, and pushed him down.

"You should check to see if it's safe". She laughed as she closed the hatch, leaving Liquid in darkness.


	6. The Chief's Playpen

Liquid was a bit sore from the fall as he got up.

"YOU WERE ADOPTED"! He screamed at the sealed hatch. "AND YOUR PARENTS DON'T LOVE YOU"!

There was no responce from Sherry, so Liquid decided to find a way out.

He was in some sort of tunnel, complete with errie dripping water, and lit torches. It was obvious that this was the enterence to a very bad place, but he was trapped, so it was either that or starve.

The tunnel was only about 20 yards long, and at the end was an old door that reminded him of old castles.

"Ok". He whispered as he held the Spark Shot ready. "One...two...three"!

He kicked the door as hard as he could, and was rewarded with a hurt foot. Now angry, he kicked it again and again, until he fell on his ass from the pain in his feet. Then he mentally smacked himself as he saw the word PULL written above the handle.

So he got up, pulled open the door, and walked inside.

It was some kind of horrible chamber of...well...horrors. Medevil tools and torture devices filled the room, and bloodstains were everywhere.

Suddenly a gun was pressed up against his head.

"Shit". He whispered.

"Shit is right". Iorns replied. "Now toss away the Spark Shot and the Machine Gun".

Liquid set the Spark Shot on the table, and dropped the machine gun on the floor.

"Good boy". Iorns said.

He motioned for Liquid to step away from the weapons, and then he backed up into a corner.

"How did you get in here"? Iorns asked.

"Through the door". Liquid replied.

"Ah, but how did you find the door"?

"You left it open, you fat bastard".

"A likely story". "I know that you have been sent here to kill me by umbrella to kill me".

"You're half right". "I don't work for umbrella, but I am going to kill you".

Iorns tossed his head back, and houled in laughter.

"Well". He said. "If I'm going to be killed, then I'm going to take you with me".

He fired, but Liquid rolled out of the way, grabbing the machine gun as he got back up. He fired, hitting Iorns in the arm, making him stumble backwards. Iorns fell on his ass, and he was so fat and disgusting that he fell right through the floor, revealing a hidden passage.

"Nice shot"! Iorns screamed. "But I will kill...what the hell"?

There was an evil roar, and Liquid could hear Iorn's screams as something evil tore him apart. Liquid walked over to the trap door, and gave a quick peek, seeing only darkness. Then he slid an uverturned table over the trap door, and turned around to see Sherry aiming the Spark Shot at him.

"Good job, bitch boy". She said. "Now why don't you check out the next floor for me as well"?

Not waisting any time, Liquid aimed the machine gun, and fired with the intent of blowing this little bitch to hell. Then he gasped as the gun went 'click'.

Sherry fired the Spark Shot, striking the machine gun. It fused the weapon solid, and one of the smaller sparks of electricity touched Liquid's arm, numbing it as he dropped the now useless weapon.

After a few seconds the feeling in his arm came back, but it still hurt like hell.

"Interesting how effective this weapon is, even when it only grazes the target". Sherry said. "If an indirect shot can numb your arms, imagine what a direct shot can do to your balls".

Liquid swallowed hard, and slid the table off of the trap door.

"Good boy". Sherry said. "Now get your ass down there".

Liquid slowly started down the ladder. He really didn't want to go down there.

"Faster"! Sherry ordered. "God, you men are so worthless"!

"Remember you said that". Liquid replied. "When you're 15 and some pimple faced loser has you in the back seat of his dad's mini van".

Sherry fired the spark shot, hitting the ladder, and electrifying it. This caused Liquid to scream as he fell off.

He hit the metal with a thud, and looked up just in time to see Sherry sealing the door. Then he turned over, and screamed as he saw what was left of Iorns.

Liquid jumped to his feet, and was about to run for it, when an evil roar froze him in his tracks.

Birkin suddenly walked into the light, and Liquid's eyes widened as the monster ripped a metal bar off of the hand rail.

"Ok, Sherry"! Liquid called. "Joke's over, you can let me out now"!

There was no answer, and Liquid knew that he was trapped, alone and unarmed with the monster known as Birkin.

(Dramatic music is played).

Will Liquid be able to escape from this nasty monster? Will Sherry ever stop being a little bitch? Will Leon ever get laid"?

"Who the fuck is saying that"? Liquid asked.

Birkin pointed to the PA system.

"Oh". Liquid replied. 


	7. Liquid Lays The Smack Down!

Birkin roared loudly as he walked toward Liquid, with the metal pipe ready to kill.

"Um". Liquid said as he backed away. "I don't suppose that we can talk about this".

Birkin shook his head, and swung the pipe, missing Liquid's head by mere inches.

"Christ, dude"! Liquid yelled as he ran to the other side of the platform. "Look, you don't have to kill me". "I mean, wouldn't you rather...um...uh...". "Aw, fuck it"!

Liquid ran full speed at Birkin, gave him a quick roundhouse kick to the face, and grabbed pipe out of his hands. Then he raised it up over his head, and brought the pipe down as hard as he could on Birkin's foot.

Birkin screamed in pain as he held his foot.

"Not so funny now, huh"? Liquid asked as he raised the pipe.

He brought it down on Birkin's other foot, making him scream again as he fell onto his side.

"Alright, enough"! Birkin yelled.

"Oh, now you want to talk, huh"? Liquid asked as he stood over him. "What, not as much fun on that end of the pipe"?

Liquid began beating and bashing Birkin with the pipe.

"Wait"! Birkin yelled.

WHACK!

"There's no need"!

WHACK"!

"Can't we just"!

WHACK"!

"If you would just"!

WHACK!

Birkin would have said something eles, but Liquid's pipe suddenly slammed into his mouth, making him fall to his hands and knees. Then Liquid brought the pipe as har over his head as he could, and Birkin screamed as Liquid jammed the pipe halfway up his ass.

The monster squeeled, and dove off the walkway.

As for Liquid, it took him a few seconds to catch his breath, but then he smirked in victory.

"Maybe next time he will think before challenging someone of my power". He said to himself.

Now that he was feeling better about himself, he was able to explore this place a little better. There was a lift of some kind of lift to take him across the black unknown, so he stepped toward it, and suddenly felt an evil presence.

"Going somewhere"? Sherry asked as she aimed the spark shot at him.

"Yeah". Liquid replied. "Without you, I hope".

"Cute, now how about you just be a good little boy and step far away from the lift"?

Liquid ran for the lift, but Sherry shot it, and the blast knocked Liquid backwards.

"So". She said as she walked toward him. "You would leave a sweet and innocent little girl behind while you escape"?

"Well, yes". He replied. "I am a villan, you know".

"Well, guess what"? "I know one villan who will never leave this city alive". "GOODBYE, ASSHOLE"!

Liquid cringed as she pulled the trigger, but then he smiled as the gun went 'click'.

"Uh, oh". Sherry said as Liquid started walking toward her.

She dropped the spark shot, and started backing away, but Liquid caught up to her, and back handed her to the floor. He then picked her up off the ground by her hair.

"I was just kidding". She said. "I would never hurt anyone, because I'm just a poor little girl who can't find her parents, and just wants to go home".

Liquid smiled an evil smile.

"Then today is your lucky day, Sherry". Liquid said. "I don't know about your mom, but I can help you find your father".

"You...". Sherry said. "You can"?

"Oh, yes". "And just because I'm such a nice guy, I'll even show which way he went".

Sherry screamed as Liquid tossed her over the edge, and when he couldn't hear her anymore, he walked back over to the lift, not before picking up the spark shot and reloading it.

The door opened, and he was about to step inside, when he heard someone comming down the ladder.

Someone very heavy.

Liquid ran inside the lift, and closed the door as Jason reached the bottom of the ladder.

"Shit"! Liquid said as he pushed the activation button.

Suddenly Jason's machette pierced the door, and Jason forced it open, coming face to face with the barrel of the spark shot.

"Nothing personal". Liquid said as he pulled the trigger.

Jason was knocked backwards, allowing the doors to close, and also allowing Liquid to give Jason the finger as he escaped.

As the lift continued across the void, Liquid could see Jason jumping up and down while screaming his rage. 


	8. Problem Solving Skills

The lift reached the other side, and Liquid stepped out. Then after shooting the control gears with the spark shot so that no one could use it to reach him, he entered a door, ready to continue with his journey.

He was now inside some kind of office.

"What are you doing here"?! A strange man screamed.

He pointed his gun at Liquid.

"Are you a cop"? The man asked.

"Look, man". Liquid replied. "I can see that you don't want to be disturbed, so I'll just be on my way".

The man fired a shot right in front of Liquid's foot.

"ARE...YOU...A...COP"!? He screamed.

"Alright"! Liquid yelled. "Relax, I'm not a cop". "I'm Liquid, and I'm trying to get out of this city". "Who are you"?

"I'm Carrot Top".

"Are you trying to escape, too"?

"No, I just live down here". "But now that you have seen me, I'm afraid that I'll have to kill you".

"Why"?

"Because you could tell all of my screaming fan girls where I am".

Liquid just looked at him for a second, and soon he was houling with laughter.

"Fan girls"? Liquid asked as he got his laughter under control.

"Yeah". Carrot Top replied. "They are probibly searching the streets for me right now, wanting me to sign their bra straps".

Liquid was now laughing so hard that he fell against the wall.

"What"? Carrot Top asked.

"You don't have any fans". Liquid replied. "You are the worst comic in history". "Now, how about you give me the gun"?

"NO WAY"!

"Look, we both have problems, right"?

"I guess".

"But, if you give me the gun, I might be able to solve a few of them".

"Really"?

"Yes, I will help you leave this place, and no one will ever find you again".

"Ok".

No sooner had Carrot Top handed him the gun, when Liquid bashed him in the face with it. Then he shot him in both knees, and dragged him by his hair over to the warehouse door.

"What are you doing"?! Carrot Top screamed as Liquid opened the door.

"Solving your problems". Liquid replied as he held him over the edge. "You will now leave this place, and no one will ever find you again".

He then shot Carrot Top in the back three times, and dropped him down into the warehouse. After emptying the gun to make sure he was dead, and waiting for the zombie to start eating him, Liquid closed the door, and got on the elevator.

It took him down into what appeared to be a sewer, and he was about to start exploring, when he heard someone coming. So he hid bahind a corner, and watched as Leon and Ada came down on a different elevator.

"Why are you still following me"? Ada asked as she came down the hall.

"Because destiny brought us togather". Leon replied as he followed her. "Ada, we were made for eachother".

"You've known me for a grand total of 10 minutes, Leon".

"More then enough time to fall in love".

"Did I mention that I was here looking for my boyfriend"?

"Yeah, but I have a girlfriend".

"You do"?

"No, I just wanted to sound cool".

"Well, you aren't cool, Leon". "You are a pathetic loser, and no woman could ever love you".

Suddenly there were gunshots, and Leon took a hit to the shoulder.

"YES"! Ada yelled. "I have to find that woman, and thank her for rescuing me".

Leon fell to the floor as Ada took off after Annette. Then Liquid came out of the shadows, and sat acros from Leon.

"Alright, pretty boy". Liquid said. "We need to have a little talk".

"What do you want, criminal"? Leon replied.

"You have no chance with Ada".

"I SAW HER FIRST"!

Liquid slapped him in the face.

"Ada doesn't love anyone". Liqud continued. "And besides, she works for Wesker".

"Who"?

"That guy standing in the shadows over there".

Wesker gasped, and quickly jumped into the elevator, escaping.

"He thinks we can't see him when he does that". Liquid continued. "But, anyway, in about 6 years you wil meet an easily influenced little college girl that actualy wants you".

"Yeah right". Leon said. "Next you're gonna tell me that she's the president's daughter". "Sorry, I'm having a little trouble seeing through all the bullshit".

"Oh, well". "I tried". "But there is just one more thing before I go".

"What"?

"Tell me if this hurts".

Leon screamed as Liquid jammed his finger into the bullet wound. Then he punched the cop in the mouth, and walked down the hall toward the sound of running water. 


	9. The Path To Knowledge

It was kind of dark as Liquid walked towards the sound of running water, so he didn't notice the sudden drop into 3 feet of nasty sewer water.

After falling in, splashing around and screaming in a girly manner, he realized that he could reach the bottom, and stood up, feeling glad that no one else saw that.

After walking for a few more seconds, his foot hit something, and when he used his lighter to see what it was, he saw that it was just one of several bodies floating on the water.

Never one to disturb the dead, Liquid politely rummaged through each one's pockets for anything that he could use to defend himself with, or that he could atleast get a good deal on at the pawn shop once he got home.

He was reaching for the last one, when it grabbed his wrist.

"Oh, thank God"! The man screamed. "Everyone died except for me and Hunk"!

"ZOMBIE"! Liquid screamed.

"No, wait"!

He shoved the man's head underwater, and punched him until the bubbles stopped.

"Damn". Liquid said as the body floated to the top. "That was a close one". "Damn zomies are getting faster".

He looked around for a second, and saw a waterfall in the distance. There was a door behind it, and he was about to go through, when he noticed another door to the side.

"Hmmm". He said as he looked back and forth between the doors. "Maybe one of these has someone who can tell me what the fuck happened around here". "But which one is it"?

A large frog suddenly leaped out of the water, and sat on the walkway between the doors.

"What the fuck"? Liquid asked.

"There are two doors". The frog said.

"Hey, cool". "A talking frog".

"One door leads to the answers you seek". "The other leads to a horrible firey death". "You may ask me one question, but I always lie".

Liquid pondered this for a second.

"Ok". He said. "I learned this in school, but I can never remember how it goes".

"Hurry up". The frog replied.

"Damn it". "This is worse then the one where you have to make 4 gallons from a 5 gallon jug and a 3 gallon jug".

"You will ask your question, now".

Liquid thought for a second longer, and smiled.

"Ok, smart ass". He said. "Do you really know which door is safe"?

"No". It replied.

"Ok, then the answer is simple".

He suddenly picked up the frog, opened the waterfall door, and tossed him in. A second later there was an explosion that blew the door off it's hinges.

"The side door it is". Liquid said as the smoke started to clear.

He opened the door, and stepped inside, finding himself in some kind of oil pressure bridge room. But what he didn't see was Annette Birkin coming up behind him with a fire extinguisher.

She slammed it into his head, and he woke up three hours later in some kind of a prison cell.

There were some old guys in the corner, but they scattered when Annette came up to the door.

"Good morning, sunshine". She said. "Welcome to your new home".

"Let me out of here". Liquid replied. "And I might not kill you".

"Kill me"? "I don't think so". "My husband is the one responsible for the creation of the G-Virus".

(FLASHBACK)

Wesker and Birkin were sitting on the floor of the labratory, passing the bong back and forth.

"Ha-ha". Birkin said. "You take it like a bitch".

"You ain't much better". Wesker replied.

"Bullshit". "I can smoke, snort, or shoot up anything imagineable".

"Oh, yeah"?

"Yeah".

Wesker took a quick look around the lab, and grabbed a vial of purple stuff.

"Then shoot up this". He said as he tossed it to Birkin.

"No way". Birkin replied. "Don't you know what this is"?

"What's wrong, are you chicken"?

"No, just don't want to put this into me".

Wesker suddenly jumped up, and began flapping his arms like a chicken.

"Buk, buk, buk, buk". He said as he danced around. "Birkin's a chicken, buk, buk, buk, BUKKACK"!

"NO ONE CALLS ME A CHICKEN"! Birkin screamed.

He jammed it into himself, and his eyes were red as he looked back up.

"I can't believe you actually did that"! Wesker laughed.

(FLASHFORWARD)

"What the hell is wrong with you people"? Lquid asked.

Annete said nothing, and then she ran away laughing like a maniac.

"Great". He said as he looked at the bars. 


	10. Three For One Escape Special

Liquid looked around the holding cell for a minute or two, before realizing that there was no way out. 

Since Annette had gone, the old guys began to come back out.

"Welcome". One said.

"Don't bother, guys". Liquid replied. "I won't be staying here for long".

They began laughing.

"You are staying with us forever". One said. "You can't get out".

"There has to be some way out". Liquid replied.

"Don't you think that we would have used it if there was one"? "I mean, look at us, we've been here for years and years".

"I came here to repair the telephone". Another said. "That was 24 years ago".

"Whatever". Liquid said. "I don't care how long you all have been here, or how down in the dumps you are". "I'm getting out of here...and you are going to help me".

They started laughing again, and Liquid once again began looking around. Then he saw his opportunity in a beam of light that came from high above.

"What's that"? He asked.

"Oh, nothing". One said. "That's just where she throws our food from".

"Then that's how we can get out". "We can build a human ladder, and I will bring back the key once I kill that evil bitch".

They groaned as if dissapointed, and looked away.

"What's wrong"? Liquid asked.

"We just don't have the will to try anymore". He replied. "We failed so many times in the first few years that we have just accepted our fate".

This was not good for Liquid. These old men seemed willing to spend what remained of their lives in this cell, but Liquid did not. As he weighed his options, he realized that there was only one solution.

"Every bursted bubble has a glory". Liquid sang. "Each abysmal failure makes a point". "Every glowing path that goes astray, shows you how to find a better way". "So every time you stumble, never grumble". "Next time you'll bumble even less, for up from the ashes, up from the ashes, grow the roses of success".

The old men suddenly jumped to their feet.

"Grow the roses". They sang. "Grow the roses". "Grow the roses of success". "O yes"! "Grow the roses". ".Those rosy roses". "From the ashes of disaster grow the roses of success.

They began dancing around the room, and Liquid knew that his chance for escape was coming.

"For every big mistake you make be grateful". He continued.

"Hear, hear"! They sang.

"That mistake you'll never make again.

"No sir.

"Every shiny dream that fades and dies, generates the steam for two more tries". "So there's magic in the wake of a fiasco!

"Correct!

"It gives you that chance to second guess.

"O yes!

"Then up from the ashes, up from the ashes grow the roses of success.

They all began dancing togather, perfectly syncronized, and Liquid wondered why this was the only one of his powers that could still work even when Xing tried to stop them all. But thoes questions could wait until after he had escaped.

"Grow the roses". The old men sang. "Grow the roses". "Grow the roses of success". "O yes"! "Grow the roses". ".Those rosy roses". "From the ashes of disaster grow the roses of success.

"Disaster didn't styme Louis Pasteur". Liquid continued.

"No sir.

".Edison took years to see the light.

"Right.

"Alexander Graham knew failure well". "He took a lot of knocks to ring that bell". "So when it gets distressing it's a blessing, onward and upward you must press.

"Yes"! "Yes!

"Til up from the ashes, up from the ashes grow the roses of success.

The old men suddenly began building a human ladder, and when it was finished, Liquid climbed to the top, and could just barely grab the ledge. He struggled for a second, and the old men cheered as he climbed up into the doorway. This was truly their chance for freedom, and their hero Liquid would soon liberate them so that they could return to their homes and live happily ever after.

Yeah, ok, like that would ever happen.

"Well, guys". Liquid said. "You have been a great help, and out of gratitude I should go and get the key so that you all can go home". "But, I don't really want to do that because I might get captured again, so I wish you the best of luck.

He walked away, leaving the old men standing there.

"Well, what the fuck are we supposed to do now"? One asked.

Finding himself back in the pressure room, Liquid picked up his fallen spark shot, and quickly ran out the first door that he saw. Now that he was free, he could finally get out of this mad house.

There were some train tracks, but no train was to be found.

"Damn it". He said as he looked around. "What the fuck?

He noticed a short elevator, so he got on, and it took him down one level. He walked down another short hallway, and entered a control room. There was a button, so he pushed it, and the computer announced that the self destruct had been activated.

Liquid quickly cancelled his command, and hit the lever to make the train come up.

He was about to leave, when he noticed a camera monitor. And being a curious man, he pushed the button, revealing Nemesis killing Brad outside the police station.

"Sweet". Liquid said as he pushed it again.

This time it revealed Leon being chased down a hallway by a giant alligator.

"YES"! Liquid yelled as he pushed it one last time.

But his happiness turned into horror as the final image revealed Jason walking toward the control room. The monster stopped, and used the camera lens to make sure his mask was on streight, before smashing the camera, and continuing onward.

Realizing that there was no way out, Liquid turned around and aimed the spark shot just as Jason was coming around the corner. He began firing, each shot knocking Jason back a few steps, and finally knocking him flat on his back.

"What now, bitch"! Liquid yelled as he ran over to finish the job.

He stood over Jason, and was about to fire, but found himself compelled to remove the mask. So he knelt down, and slowly lifted up the mask, revealing something even uglier then Janet Reno.

"Man". Liquid said. "You are one ugly.

Jason suddenly grabbed him by the throat.

"Mother fucker"? He asked just before tossing Liquid down the hall.

Liquid hit the floor, and rolled out of the control room. He managed to close the doors, and used the spark shot to seal them shut. Jason banged on the door as hard as he could, while Liquid went back up the elevator, and boarded the train.

Jason screamed again as Liquid started down.

All went well for exactly 15 seconds, and then a massive arm ripped through the side of the train, just barely missing Liquid's face. It continued to smash through the train, forcing Liquid to run outside.

Once outside, he heard a roar and also a popping sound as Birkin ripped the pipe out of his ass, and tossed it to the floor.

"You want some more, huh"? Liquid asked. "What, I didn't beat your ass hard enough the first time?

Birkin roared, and Liquid lost his attitude as the monster got 3 feet taller, grew two more clawed arms, and morphed into a horrible scary monster thing.

"Oh". Liquid said. "For a second I thought you were someone else, I got no problem with you, man.

Birkin roared, and Liquid screamed as he was chased around and around the train. But being super fast, the manster quickly caught him using two arms to hold his wrists, and the other two to bitch slap him repeatedly in the face.

The monster then tossed him as hard as he could toward the wall, but instead of squishing like a bug, Liquid flew into a duct that just happened to be there.

He had once again escaped, and Birkin screamed as the train continued down.


	11. Facing The Past

Liquid crawled through the duct for what seemed like hours before falling through a loose panel, and crashing to the floor. Then after a quick check to make sure that no one saw that, he immeadiatly placed his plan into action.

By plan, he meant looking around in a circle to make sure that he really was lost.

"Great". He said to himself. "Now where the hell am I"?

There were five tunnels, and all of them looked scary, so he decided to be a man and stay put for now.

"Liquid". A voice called.

There was no one there.

"Liquid". The voice called again.

"Who's there"? Liquid replied.

Suddenly there was a flash of light, and a glowing blue man came into view.

"Liquid". He said again.

"Oh, my God"! Liquid exclaimed. "Samual L. Jackson"!

"That's right, mother fucker". "It is I, the greatest damn jedi to ever exist".

"What are you doing here"?

"I'm here to guide you toward your goal, and to help you out in times of need".

"Cool, I got Samual L. Jackson as a guardian angel".

Jackson just stood there for a second.

"On second thought". He said. "That sounds kind of gay, doesn't it"? "So, instead of guiding you through the present, I'm going to help you face the past".

"How"? Liquid asked.

"By reuniting you with an old enemy, so that you can finally stop being such a bitch".

"Can't you just help me out"?

"No, Liquid". "You must face the past in order to stop being a cowardly villan, and to realize your true potential".

"But I don't have any potential".

Jackson walked up, and bitch slapped him.

"What was that for"? Liquid asked.

"Liquid". Jackson continued. "Even without your powers you are still strong when you want to be". "I've seen you go one on one with Wesker, Garth Brooks, Leon, Saddler, and you beat Nemesis every time he came at you". "Not only that, but your dancing skills are second only to mine".

Liquid was about to say something, but Jackson started fading away.

"You must kill the demons of your past in order to survive the present". He said as he faded. "And yes they deserve to die, and I hope they burn in hell"!

Jackson was gone, and Liquid was pumped up as he heard the footsteps of his enemy behind him. But then his confidense faded away as he turned around to see his greatest fear:

"Hello, Liquid". Chuck Norris said.

Without a word, Liquid aimed and fired the spark shot. The bolt of electricity struck Norris in the chest, and simply bounced off.

"This is what's gonna happen". Chuck Norris said as he walked toward Liquid. "I'm going to beat your ass within an inch of your life, then I'm gonna rip your arms off, and stick them up your ass".

"Oh, yeah"? Liquid asked. "Well, you know what I'm gonna do"?

"What"?

Liquid suddenly turned tail, and screamed as he ran down one of the tunnels. Chuck Norris chased after him, but lost track of him as he ran around a corner.

He was now in some kind of large circular factory with red lights everywhere. Liquid was nowhere to be found, but suddenly a trapdoor opened in the center of the room, and Chuck Norris felt inclined to look down into it.

Liquid suddenly jumped out of the shadows, and pushed him into the hole. Then he hit a switch, and Chuck Norris screamed as the carbonite flooded down on him.

"Thanks alot, man". Liquid said.

"No problem". Darth Vader replied. "Perhaps he was not as strong as the emperor thought".

"I don't care what you do with him, as long as he stays far away from me".

Darth Vader took Chuck Norris away, and Liquid was once agian lost.

"Where the fuck am I"?! He screamed.

There was a dinging sound, and an elevator suddenly opened behind him.

"That will work". Liquid said as he got in.

The doors closed, and the elevator started down. 


	12. Liquid's New Agenda

The elevator came to a screeching halt, and the doors opened to reveal a dark hallway.

Liquid slowly stepped out, and crept down the hall until he came to a waiting room. There were voices coming from inside, so he hid around the corner, and listened.

"Oh, Ada". Leon said. "Don't worry, I'll get you out of this".

"I think you should just leave me behind". She replied.

"No, I'll never leave you". "We've been through too much togather to let it end like this".

"Leon, you've known me for like 15 minutes".

"That's called love at first sight, silly".

"But, in that 15 minutes I abandoned you twice, pushed you in front of a bullet, and tried to kill you with a giant alligator".

"No one ever said that love was easy, Ada".

At that moment, Liquid realized that he was no longer the most pathetic man on earth. Leon Kennedy had surpased him in everything. Now the only thing left to do was to wait and see what happened.

"Jesus Christ, Leon". Ada said. "I used to think that you were stupid, but I underestemated you". "I now see that you are a complete fucking retard".

"Why must we go on denying our feelings"? Leon replied. "I can feel the bond of love between us".

"You are about to feel my foot forcing it's way up your ass if you don't shut the hell up".

"OH, MY GOD"! "THE PAIN HAS MADE YOU DILERIOUS"! "YOU ARE OBVIOUSLY CONFUSED BY THE PAIN OF YOUR WOUNDS, BUT DON'T WORRY, MY LOVE, I WILL SAVE YOU SO THAT WE MAY RUN AWAY TOGATHER"!

"What the fuck is wrong with your head, Leon"? "I don't like you, Claire doesn't like you, nobody likes you". "And if I had more then one bullet left in my gun, I would shoot you in the dick so that there could never be another being like you in the world".

Leon suddenly struck his hero pose, and shot his finger into the air.

"I swear this to you, my love"! He yelled. "I will find a way out of this nightmare, and save you so that we can be togather forever"! "PRETTY BOY, AWAY"!

With that, Leon burst out the door, and ran down the hall. A few seconds later there was the sound of paint cans being knocked over.

"I'm ok"! Leon yelled as he got up.

He then started running again, and Liquid decided to investigate the waiting room in a stealthy manner as to avoid detection. So he got up, and kicked open the door.

"Reach for the sky"! He screamed as he aimed the spark shot.

"Liquid"? Ada asked. "Why aren't you dead"?

"I'll ask the questions here". "What is the fastest animal on earth"?

"The Cheeta".

"What character on the original star trek show was gay in real life"?

"Sulu".

"Does size really matter"?

"Yes".

"Will sitting too close to the tv ruin my eyesight"?

"Not in a million years".

"What color pantys are you wearing"?

"I don't wear pantys".

"How many people have you slept with"?

"15 men, 38 women".

"Why are you such an evil and kiniving bitch"?

"Because you're an asshole".

"What do you know about the G-Virus"?

"Wesker wants it". "He's going to sell it to the highest bidder".

"What about a microfilm"?

"It's small, brittle, and used in alot of Bond films".

"Don't play coy with me, Ada". "I don't care about the actual sample, I just want the microfilm so that I can steal the virus designs, and sell them myself".

"I don't know anything about a microfilm".

Liquid fired a bolt of electricity at the wall next to her, making her jump back.

"Don't fuck with me, Ada". He said. "This is too important".

"Important enough". Ada replied. "That anyone within EAR SHOT SHOULD LISTEN TO EACH AND EVERY DETAIL"?

"That important".

"AND YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT THE MICROFILM WHICH CONTAINS THE RECIPE FOR CREATING A G-VIRUS SAMPLE FOR YOURSELF IN ORDER TO SELL IT, THEREBY TAKING MONEY AWAY FROM WESKER"?

"Yeah, that's the one".

"I don't know anything about it". "But I think he does".

"What"?

Suddenly Wesker punched through the glass, grabbed Liquid, and pulled him back out into the hall, giving Ada the time she needed to escape. Wesker then put him into a sleeper hold.

"So". Wesker said. "You want to steal my free ride, huh"?

"That depends". Liquid replied. "Are you talking about the virus or Ada"?

Liquid suddenly stomped on Wesker's foot, and then jammed the stock of the spark shot into his face, breaking his glasses, and letting Liquid get free.

"Bye, Wesker". Liquid said as he aimed the weapon.

He fired, but Wesker was fast. He knocked the weapon away, and picked up Liquid by the throat.

"You have no idea how much I hate you, Liquid". Wesker said.

"Don't care, either". Liquid replied.

He then gave Wesker a titty twister, allowing him to get free once again. He kneed Wesker in the nuts, round house kicked him in the face, and then he dove for the spark shot.

Liquid fired, hitting Wesker in the chest, and sending him flying through a door, into the waiting arms of two giant marajuana plants.

"Hey, man". The first plant said. "You wanna get high"?

"Sure, why not"? Wesker replied.

Liquid took this opportunity to shoot at one of the plants, and the electric bolt caused it to catch on fire. Wesker and the other plant watched as it burned.

"Did I get ya, Wesker"? Liquid asked.

"No, you missed". He replied. "But you can leave".

"You're just letting me go"?

"Yeah, cause this burning plant's gettin me high as a mother fucker"!

"Fair enough".

Liquid ran through another set of doors, and started down a long ladder. 


	13. Ultimatum

Once he reached the bottom of the ladder, the lights in the place came on, and he gasped at the huge plant that stood before him. It was as tall as the ladder, and covered the entire room.

"APPLES"! Liquid screamed as he saw the fruit toward the top.

He quickly climbed back up the ladder, and leaped into the branches.

"Apples"! He yelled again as he picked one.

He was about to put it in his mouth, when a branch suddenly wrapped around his waist, and he screamed like a girl as it pulled him down to the middle of the tree.

"Oh, crap". Liquid said as a face formed in the trunk.

"Mother fucker". It said. "What do you think you're doing"?

"Um".

"Let me guess...you were hungry"?

"Well, yeah".

"How would you like it if someone came along and picked something off of YOU"?

"I see your point". "Well, no harm, no foul, then"? "Now if you could just put me down...

The tree roared it's rage.

"Maybe I want to pick off your leg". It said. "Or maybe your balls".

At that moment, Liquid realized that he was in trouble, and he knew that it was time to reach to the very bottom of his soul, and summon the courage to fight for his very life.

"Please, don't pick me"! He squeeled. "I'll never harm another tree in my entire life, I swear"! "I love treet, in fact, Arbor day is my favorite holiday"! "Please, I'll do anything, just don't pick parts off of me"!

The tree stood still for a second, and then laughed.

"You have entertained me with your womanly shreeks". The tree replied. "You are so pathetic and cowardly, that I must release you".

The tree tossed Liquid into the ladder, and he crashed to the ground.

"Leave me, little wussy man". The tree ordered.

Instead of running away, Liquid stood up, and took a small flask from his belt. Then he took off the cap, and poured the contents onto the tree's roots.

"What are you doing"? It asked.

"Clearcutting". Liquid replied as he flicked on his lighter.

The alcohol burst into flames, and the tree must have been really dry, because it was instantly engulfed in flames.

Liquid laughed as it screamed, and he stopped only to pick up one of the cooked apples before heading into the next room.

Once the door closed, smokey the bear came out into the open.

"Remember". He said. "Only you can prevent forest fires".

Suddenly the door opened, and Liquid ran back out. He then kicked smokey in the balls, and grabbed his hat.

"I got his hat"! Liquid screamed as he ran back into the room.

"Bastard"! Smokey yelled as he got up.

He was going to chase him, but the tree collapsed on him before he could.

Liquid found himself inside some kind of monitor room. There were screens showing every room from the police station, all the way to where he was now.

He was also not alone.

"YOU"! Annette screamed as she aimed her gun. "HOW DID YOU ESCAPE"!?

"What the hell is wrong with you"? Liquid replied. "You're almost as bossy and mean as Sherry".

Annette's eyes went wide.

"Sherry"? She asked. "Where is my daughter"?

"Well, I tossed her off...uh...I mean, I have no idea".

Annette ran to some controls, and began pushing buttons rapidly.

"There she is"! She exclaimed as the image came up. "The power room"!

She hit the intercom button.

"Sherry"? She called. "Can you hear me"?

"What the fuck do you want, mom"? She replied.

"My baby's ok"!

"How did shs survive that fall"? Liquid asked.

"What fall"?

"Oh, nothing". "What's that"?

Sherry screamed and ran to the end of the platform as Jason came into view.

"Help me"! She screamed.

"Oh, my God"! Annette yelled. "We have to help her"!

Liquid suddenly slammed the stock of his spark shot into the back of her head, knocking her out cold.

"Don't think so". He replied. "Sherry, can you hear me"?

"Liquid"? She asked.

"So sorry, but your mom seems to ahve taken a nasty fall, and won't be able to save you".

"Liquid, you have to help me".

"Do I"? "No, I don't think so". "Goodbye, Sherry".

Suddenly she opened her pendant, and held the items over the pit.

"I have the sample". She said. "Along with the recipe microfilm, and the only key to the escape train".

"You bitch". Liquid replied.

"Come up here and save me, or I'll drop them".

Liquid punched the control board, and took off toward the power room. 


	14. Find The Power Room And Defeat Jason

Faster and faster Liquid ran.

Out the door, up the ladder, down the hall, past the office, and into the elevator. Then he fell over from the exaustion of running so far, and wondered how the people from resident evil can run all the damn time.

After a few moments he had regained his strength, and a minute later the elevator opened. It was then that he realized that this was where he had gotten lost before, and had no idea where the power room was.

"No problem". He said to himself. "I'll just ask the Goonies".

No sooner had he said that, then the Goonies came around the corner.

"Hey, guys". Liquid said. "I need your help".

"Aren't you that Liquid guy"? Mikey asked.

"Yeah, what of it"?

"You try kill us last year"! Data said. "Left us in cave with dead guy"!

"Hey, Data"?

"What you want"?

"Does that hurt"?

"What hurt"?

Liquid suddenly kicked him in the nuts, and aimed the spark shot at the others.

"AH, GOD"! Data screamed as he fell over. "MY TINY ASIAN BALLS"!

"Alright, listen up". Liquid ordered. "One of you is going to tell me where the power room is, or I'm going to kill each and every one of you".

"Just calm down". Mouth said. "No one needs to get hurt".

"You know what, Mouth"? "Nobody likes you".

He fired, frying Mouth to a crisp.

"As for the rest of you". Liquid continued. "The Goonies was a horrible movie". "The only good part was when that jackass guy used his mirror to look up Andi's skirt". "Now someone better tell me where the power room is or I'm gonna kill more of you".

"You killed my friend, you bastard"! Mikey screamed.

Mikey ran at him, but was hit by a blast from the spark shot, killing him instantly.

"Chunk". Liquid ordered.

"What"? He asked.

"Do the truffle shuffle".

"Do I have to"?

"GOD HELP YOU, DO THE FUCKING TRUFFLE SHUFFLE"!

Chunk lifted his shirt up, and shook his fatness, making everyone laugh.

"Childhood obiesity is funny". Liquid said.

Brand suddenly stepped up.

"Alright, Liquid". He said. "I'm the tough jock of the group, and I could pound your face like a nail". "So get out of my way, or I'll have to kick your ass".

"God, you're hot". Andi said. "Fuck me right here, on the floor".

"Brand, explain something to me". Liquid said. "If you are so tough, why did you let some 1980's rejects drag you with their car while you were on your bike"?

"Well". He replied.

"Silence, bitch boy"! "Drink deeply from the cup of shame, and know that you were punked".

He bowed his head and ran off crying like a little girl, but Liquid wasn't done yet. He aimed the spark shot, and fired, illuminating the hall until it killed Brand.

"I grow tired of asking this". Liquid said. "So it will be the last time". "Where is the power room"?

"It's right behind you". Stef said.

Liquid turned around, and sure enough, the power room was right behind him.

"Thank you". He said.

"Now get out of here before I kill the rest of you".

"You killed them". Data said.

"Data, punch yourself in the nuts".

"No".

"Punch yourself in the nuts or I'll kill Stef, Chunk, and Andi".

Data pulled back, and hit himself in the nuts as hard as he could. He then let out a weezing sound, and fell over.

"Again". Liquid ordered.

Data kept punching himself in the nuts until he passed out, and then Liquid aimed the spark shot for the kill, but then he heard Sherry scream, and ran off to save the key...ur...I mean save her.

Sherry was cornered, and Jason was slowly walking toward her with his machette raised for the kill. Suddenly Liquid came running from a higher catwalk, and did a dramatic dive with intent to tackle the monster, and beat him senseless. However, Liquid was never a very good judge of distances, causing him to be two feet short of his target.

He slammed into the ground right behind Jason, and the spark shot slid away from him.

Jason laughed as he turned around, and swung the large blade. But Liquid moved just in time, making the blade strike the ground.

Jason began swinging the blade harder and faster, but Liquid always managed to move out of the way just in time. Jason screamed his rage, and swung harder then before, burying the blade into the catwalk.

He tried to pull it out, but it was stuck. This distraction gave Liquid the time he needed to get to his feet, and spin kick Jason in the face.

The monster swung at him, but Liquid ducked, and came back up with a face mask pull, pissing him off even more.

In his anger, he swung wildly, and using a trick he learned from fighting Nemesis, Liquid ducked around behind him, and pushed him off the catwalk, into the unknown depths.

"That was surprisingly easy". He said as he caught his breath.

Suddenly he was struck by a blast from the spark shot. It lifted him off the ground, and then he collapsed.

"Thank's, Liquid". Sherry said as she walked past him. "Too bad you won't be escaping with me".

He tried to grab her, but the pain was too intense, so he could do nothing as she ran for the elevator. She went down, and the alarm went off just as Liquid was regaining his strength.

"That...bitch". He said as he tried to get up.

The alarm got louder as he stumbled toward the elevator.


	15. Another Escape Route

Liquid stumbled into the elevator, just in time to see the escape route become locked again.

"NO"! He screamed. "GOD DAMN THAT LITTLE BITCH"!

He kicked the control panal, and the elevator shot back down toward the lab. His only hope was to find some other way to the escape train before the whole place exploded.

A minute later the elevator stopped, and the doors opened, revealing Smokey the bear.

"Um". Liquid said.

Without warning Smokey kicked Liquid in the nuts, and took his hat back as Liquid fell to his hands and knees.

"How do you like it, dickweed"? Smokey asked as he put the hat on. "If you ever take my hat or start something on fire ever again, I will bend you over a log and fuck you up the ass".

"Gross, dude". Liquid replied.

He kicked Liquid in the ribs, and ran off toward one of the doors. He opened it, and was grabbed by three plant monsters.

"HELP"! Smokey screamed as they began eating him.

"I would". Liquid replied as he got up. "But the only way to kill them is to burn them".

"Then burn them, for THE LOVE OF GOD"!

"Sorry, dude, but only you can prevent forest fires". "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"!

Liquid walked out the other door as the plant monsters ate the bear, and crouched down as he saw Leon walking toward the big ladder.

Suddenly Ada came out of nowhere, and pointed her gun at him.

"Alright, retard". She said. "Drop your gun".

"Ada"? He asked as he turned around. "What's going on here"?

"Shut up, moron". "Give me the sample and the microfilm".

"I can't believe this, Ada". "After all we've been thru, you just want the virus stuff"? "You would be willing to throw away our true love for a vial of purple goo"?

Ada was getting furious.

"For the hundreth time". She said. "You have known me for a grand total of 15 minutes, and there is no god damn love between us". "Now, you can give me the sample, and I might not kill you".

Suddenly Annette shot Ada in the shoulder from behind, causing her to fall over the rail, catching herself by one hand.

"I'LL SAVE YOU, ADA"! Leon screamed as he ran for her.

Annette aimed at Leon, but Liquid came up from behind, and grabbed her gun with one hand, while putting her in a sleeper hold with the other.

"As much as I'd like to let you kill him". Liquid said. "I can't risk you hitting the sample".

He then snapped her neck, and began searching her body for stuff.

"Hold on, Ada"! Leon scramed. "I'll save you, and we can run away togather, and live happily ever after".

"Well". She replied. "Since you put it that way".

She then let go, and fell into the black unknown.

"NOOOOOOOOO"! Leon screamed as he fell to his knees. "THE ONLY WOMAN I EVER LOVED"! "WHY, GOD, WHY ADA"?

He would have kept going on like that for hours, if Liquid had not came up from behind, and did the vulcan neck pinch on him.

"Sweet dreams, pretty boy". Liquid said as Leon lost consiousness. "And now I'll just take the sample and the microfilm".

He searched Leon, but the virus wasn't on him.

"GOD DAMN IT"! He screamed. "THAT LITTLE BITCH HAS THE ONLY SAMPLE"!

Without another word, he chambered a round into his newly aquired handgun, and slid down the long ladder. Once he reached the bottom, he saw an unconsious Ada laying next to what was left of the big tree.

"Stupid bitch"! Wesker yelled from underneith her. "What are the odds of that happening"?

"What happened to you"? Liquid asked.

"Damn devil bitch fell right on top of me"! "I think she thru out my back"!

"Can you move"?

"No"!

"Are you sure"?

"Yes"!

Liquid reached down, and took Wesker's shades.

"Thanks". He said as he put them on.

"I'll kill you, Liquid"! Wesker screamed. "I'll hunt you down, then after I kill you, I'll take your mom out to a nice lobster dinner and then never call her again"!

"Hey, Wesker, what's that on your face"?

"Huh"?

Liquid kicked a pile of dirt into Wesker's mouth, and ran toward the secondary escape lift. He had recieved the key from Annette, and used it on a very heavy door, leading to his escape route.

He entered a large warehouse, and bolted the door shut. The elevator was across the room, so he ran for it, but was stopped when Birkin appeared on top of one of the crates.

"You again". Liquid said. "Well, I just beat Jason, so you should be no problem".

Birkin suddenly changed into the four legged thing withall the spikes coming out of it's mouth, and Liquid wished that he had just stayed quiet.

The monster roared, and leaped at him, but he rolled out of the way, causing it's spikes to go right through the outer casing of one of the main power generators.

Birkin screamed as he was fried to a crisp, and a few minutes later the monster was melted into a pile of goo. It took Liquid a second to realize what just happened, but then he struck his hero pose, and pointed at the dead monster.

"HAHAHA"! He shouted. "Now you see that no mere monster can triumph over the mighty Liquid"! "You were supposed to be the ultimate bio weapon, but not even that could save you from one of my perfectly laid traps"! "So, drink deeply from the cup of shame, William Birkin, and whenever someone asks you who your daddy is, you will know that your daddy is Liquid"!

The dead monster twitched, making Liquid scream like a girl as he emptied his entire clip onto the carcas.

Once he calmed down, he got onto the lift, and started down toward the train. 


	16. The Train

The lift stopped, and Liquid ran out onto the train platform just as the building was beginning to collapse.

The train was starting to pull away, and he became furious as he saw that Leon and Sherry were inside. Then they saw him, and Leon began trying to pull the heavy door shut.

"I'LL KILL YOU BOTH"! Liquid screamed as he ran toward the train.

He made a heroic leap, landing in the doorway, blocking the door from closing all the way. He and Leon then began a power struggle, but Liquid was obviously the stronger one since the door slowly began to open.

Once he had enough room, he kneed Leon in the balls so that he could get in, but Sherry had already planned on Leon being a complete failure. So in order to stop Liquid, she shot the door with the spark shot, electrifying it, and knocking Liquid to the ground. This allowed Leon to close and lock the door.

The whole place was falling apart, and Liquid knew that he had to act fast as the front car of the train entered the tunnel. Every side door was locked, so he jumped to his feet, and ran toward the back of the train, grabbing onto the back just before it shot down the tunnel at full speed.

The high winds made it difficult for him to climb up, so he had to take a rest just as he was reaching the top.

"It's tough without magnets". A man said.

"You're telling me". Liquid replied. "Wait a second, where the fuck did you come from"?

"I'm Ethan Hunt". "This is what I do when I'm not saving the world, reading fanmail, or having sex with beautiful women that losers like you can only whack off to".

"Yeah, it sounds like a hard life".

"You have no idea". "Everywhere I go, I have girls from 14 to 40 throwing their panties at me, and begging me to take them back to my hotel room". "Just this week I fucked Jojo, Lindsey Lohan, Jessica Alba, Uma Thurman, Kirsten Dunst, Michelle Branch, Natile Portman, Tara Reed, Brittney Murphy, Reba McIntire, Claudia Black, Amanda Tapping, and Danny Devito".

"Danny Devito"?

"Yeah, I could fuck anyone that I want, just because I was in Top Gun". "In fact, I think I need someone to fuck me right now".

Liquid suddenly hit the release button on his magnets, making Ethan scream as he fell onto the electric tracks.

"There"! Liquid yelled as he Ethan was fried. "You just got fucked"!

Then he grabbed the magnets, and used them to get to a roof access point.

It took him a second to open the roof hatch, then he pulled himself inside, and found himself in total darkness.

As if it had been waiting for him, the car was suddenly filled with bright light, and it revealed Jason waiting for him across the room.

"You again"? Liquid asked. "What's wrong, one ass beating not enough"?

In response to this, Jason took two steps forward, but then collapsed, revealing Chuck Norris standing behind him.

"What the hell"? Liquid asked.

"Did you miss me"? Chuck replied.

"But I sold you to Darth Vader".

Chuck pointed to the corner, and there was the dead body of Darth Vader.

"Oh". "Then in that case".

Liquid ran over to Vader's body, and picked up the lightsaber. But when he pushed the button, it sparked for a second and then died.

"What the"? Liquid asked as he looked at it.

To his horror, the lightsabre said Made In China.

"What are you going to do now, Liquid"? Chuck asked.

"Well". He replied as he dropped the useless lightsabre. "I think it's time for everyone's favorite plan B".

"What's plan B"?

"B stands for bitch".

"Bitch"?

"Yeah, bitch, as in RUN LIKE ONE"!

He screamed and ran back toward the center of the car, then he jumped up, and started to climb back out of the train. He was almost out, when something grabbed his ankle.

"No way, Liquid". Chuck said as he pulled him back down. "You won't get away this time".

He then began swinging Liquid around faster and faster, before letting him go. This caused Liquid to fly across the room, and crash into the wall.

"I'm going to break every bone in your body". Chuck said as Liquid got up. "And then I'm going to eat you".

"Not today". Liquid said as he pulled something out of his pocket. "I still have one escape plan left".

It was a smoke bomb in his hand, and it would fill the room with a blinding smoke, allowing him to escape. So, he smashed it on the ground, and it fizzed for a second before it went out.

Liquid hung his head as Chuck Norris started laughing.

"I'm going to enjoy this". Chuck said as he cracked his knuckles. "Prepare to die".

He charged at Liquid with a punch, but Liquid suddenly jumped over him, and when Chuck turned around, Liquid kicked him in the face, making him stumble backwards.

Liquid went for a punch, but Chuck kicked him in the stomach, sending him flying. But instead of crashing, he rolled back to his feet.

"Why, Liquid". Chuck said. "I didn't know you had it in you".

"I hate you, Chuck Norris". Liquid replied. "I hate you, and you're going to die at my hand". "HIT IT"!

Techno music started playing as they ran at eachother. 


	17. Liquid Vs Chuck Norris

They ran full speed at eachother, but at the last second Liquid jumped up, and slammed both of his feet into Chuck Norris's chest, making him stumble back. Liquid quickly jumped to his feet, and roundhouse kicked him in the face, then he punched him in the stomach, and gave him an uppercut that knocked him off his feet.

Chuck Norris hit the ground hard, but instantly jumped back to his feet.

"That was good, Liquid". He said. "I haven't been knocked down in quite some time".

He chopped Liquid in the neck, and then he gave him a punch in the stomach, not only knocking him off his feet, but lifting him into the air, and sending him flying into the wall.

Chuck Norris laughed as Liquid slowly got up.

"I have never been defeated".Chuck boasted. "I am an invincible god with a perfect record of ass kicking victory".

"Wrong". Liquid replied. "I saw that movie, Karate Cop".

Chuck Norris gasped.

"I had that movie destroyed". He replied.

"No". Liquid continued. "I have a copy, and I saw that little asian dude beat you in the end".

"It's a lie".

"No, Chuck". "You lost once, and that proves that you can be defeated".

"NO"! "I CANNOT BE DEFEATED, AND I CANNOT DIE"! "I WILL CRUSH THE LIFE OUT OF YOU, LIQUID"!

He took off his shirt, and beckoned Liquid to attack.

Of course, Liquid did. He ran at Chuck, and swung at him, but Chuck grabbed his wrist.

"Enjoy the paralyzer"! He shouted as he gave Liquid's arm a chop.

His arm was now useless, so he swung with the other.

"Another paralyzer"! Chuck said as he did the same thing to Liquid's other arm.

Liquid's arms were useless, and Chuck Norris laughed at this.

"HAHAHAHA"! Chuck laughed. "Say goodnight, floppy"!

Everything became slow motion as Chuck Norris spun around, and gave Liquid a roundhouse kick to the face. This lifted Liquid off the ground, and made him crash back down to it.

Chuck Norris laughed even harder as Liquid laid there, defeated.

"Liquid". Samual L. Jackson's voice called. "Liquid, use the force to defeat him".

"But, I don't have the force". Liquid replied. "I can't use it".

"Oh, then...uh...well...um...you're fucked, then".

"WHAT"?!

"Bye, Liquid". "I'm gonna go watch my pirated copy of Snakes on a Plane".

"COME BACK HERE"! "GOD DAMN YOU, SAMUAL L. JACKSON"!

Liquid's old mentor was gone, and by this time Chuck Norris had finished laughing.

"Sorry, Liquid". He said. "But I must kill you, now". "Any last words before I finish you"?

"Yeah". Liquid replied. "I gave the heroic fight to the death thing a try, and it's just not me".

Chuck Norris quickly crouched down, and then did a Wesker leap into the air. He came down with a punch, but Liquid rolled out of the way just in time, causing Chuck's fist to go thru the door.

And all the way down to the electrified rails.

Electricity flowed over him, making him scream as Liquid pulled himself to his feet.

"YOU TRICKED ME, LIQUID"! He screamed as the electricity held him in place.

"Yeah, like I knew that was gonna". He began. "I mean, yes, I tricked you"! "And now you will look into the mirror at night and cry because this is the third time that I have escaped you"! "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"!

"I'll kill you, Liquid"!

"Not today, you won't".

Liquid walked over to the car's self destruct panal, and hit the button, making the alarm go off. The computer announced that the car would explode in three minutes, so Liquid ran back over to the roof access, and jumped up to grab it.

"Liquid"! Chuck Norris yelled. "This isn't over"! "I will hunt you to the ends of the earth, and it will be my hands at your throat as you die"!

"Take a number". Liquid said as he pulled himself up.

He pulled himself along the car until he reached the connector to the main car. So he lowered himself down, and once he was on the other side, he disconected the car, and watched it get smaller and smaller until it exploded.

"Victory is mine". He proudly said.

Suddenly the alarm started going off.

"What the hell"? He asked.

"Warning". The computer said. "Viral specimen detected in main car". "Self destruct in 3 minutes".

There was a hissing sound above him, and his blood froze as he looked up to see Birkin in his largest form on top of the car.

"This fucking sucks". Liquid said as Birkin started moving toward him. 


	18. End Game

Liquid pulled open the door to the main car, dove in, and slammed it shut just before Birkin got a hold of him.

The monster roared as it searched for a way into the car, but it seemed that Liquid was safe for the moment.

Until.

"Liquid". Sherry said as she aimed the spark shot at him.

"Liquid". Leon said with hate.

"You're both right". Liquid replied

"Hands up". Leon ordered. "Me and my new deputy are arresting you".

"Deputy"?

"Yep, this little girl is the newest member of the RPD".

"Oh, I get it". "You just wanted to be above someone so that you could feel good about yourself".

"Yeah, so"? "She's also the one with the spark shot".

"You are aware that weapon belings to me, right"?

"Sorry, Liquid". "That gun is RPD property, and as a prisoner, you have no rights".

Liquid knew that talking would get him nowhere in this case. He had to find a way to not only take down Leon, but also disarm and kill Sherry. This seemed like a simple matter, if not for the fact that he wanted to do it without being shot or electrocuted. This would be impossible while he was unarmed, but there had to be a way to get close to one of them.

But how?

"Alright, deputy". Leon said. "Let's arrest him, and give him a cavity search".

"Hey, Leon". Liquid said.

"The prisoner will be silent".

"Ada is still alive".

"What"?

It was going to work. Liquid could use Leon's psycotic love for Ada in order to destroy him. But he had to be careful. His goal was to get Leon mad enough to move in close to him, but not make him mad enough to start shooting.

"I saw her right after she leaped off the bridge to get away from you". Liquid continued. "I knocked you out with the vulcan neck pinch, and then I came to her rescue". "And she was very grateful".

"What are you saying"? Leon asked.

"After I saved her, she dropped to her knees, and gave me the best blowjob I ever had". "Did you know that she swallows, Leon"?

The anger was building inside Leon, and steam was starting to come off his head.

"That's not even the best part". Liquid continued. "I bent her over the railing, and drilled her for almost a half hour".

Suddenly Leon attacked. He football sppeared Liquid, and began punching him in the face as hard as he could.

"LEON STOP"! Sherry screamed. "That's what he wants"! "Get away from him"!

"Ada loves me, not you"! Leon screamed as he continued to pound Liquid's face. "Ada loves me, not you"! "Ada Loves Me, Not You"! "ADA LOVES ME, NOT YOU"!

Soon Leon was tired, and he was pretty sure that Liquid was dead, so he moved off of him, and slid backwards toward the wall.

"That'll teach him". Leon said as he slowly got up.

"Leon, get out of the way"! Sherry yelled.He took something, and I need to kill him before he".

Liquid's eyes suddenly opened as he took Leon's gun out from under his jacket. He shot Leon in both kneecaps, and hit Sherry in the arm, making her drop the spark shot. So she dissapeared into the crawlspace to the control room.

"Leon". Liquid said as he got up. "Leon, you are the most gullible man that I have ever met".

Leon tried to reach for his knife, but Liquid shot him in the arm.

"Don't try that knife shit with me, pretty boy". Liquid continued. "I should kill you for that, but I think I'll let this car take care of that for me".

He walked over to the self destruct panel, and hit the button. Then he sealed every exit from the control room, shot Leon in the other arm, and pulled the break. Unfourtionatly when he pulled the break, it came off in his hand, and the train started going faster.

"I'll take you with me, Liquid". Sherry said over the intercom. "You, me, Leon, the sample, and the microfilm will all die togather". "HAHAHAHAHA"!

Not wanting to die, Liquid picked up the spark shot, and fired at the door. The electric bolt turned off the magnetic lock, and the side door opened.

"Not today, Sherry". Liquid said as he got in the doorway. "You and Leon have fun in hell togather".

Sherry screamed her rage, Leon screamed his agony, and Liquid screamed his fear as he jumped out of the train just as it exited the tunnel. He landed on the road, and rolled for a minute before stopping. Then he watched as the train took Birkin off into the distance before exploding.

The sun was already up, and after a few minutes the fire from the train stopped. Then a tiny microfilm came floating right into Liquid's hand. It had been exposed to sunlight, and was completely useless, but Liquid had survived again.

"Take that, Xing"! He shouted. "Another punishment conqured by me, Liquid, the most powerful villan the world will ever know"!

He started laughing like a madman for a few minutes, before realizing that he was completely lost.

"Uh". He said as he looked around. "Taxi"?

There was no one around, so he started cussing to himself as he walked down the road. 


End file.
